The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
WHY DOESNT THIS HAVE MORE NOTES I FELL OFF MY CAHIR
what is the purpose of training bras??? what are we trying to teach the boobs
they are trained to be the very breast
like no one ever bras
to catch them is my real chest
to train them are my tata’s
I will browse across the store
Trying on every size
Need training bras to understand
THE MAMMARIES INSIDE
Last night, my university gave an honorary master’s degree to the service dog who sat through every one of his owner’s classes. He dressed appropriately for the ceremony.
1 note = 1 pixel for your fandom’s symbol (shown above) in an art piece I’m making
If you would like to see all of the fandoms, look through these posts
IF YOU DON’T SEE YOUR FANDOM, send me a message saying what fandoms I missed and I’ll add them
If you would like to know more about the project, read this post
FOLLOW ME TO KEEP UPDATED ON THE PROJECT/SEE THE FINISHED PROJECT
Dear US Government: Once again, please kindly consider backing the fuck off of what goes in and comes out of my vaginal canal. Thank you, Stoya
The last image refers to my state. God, I’m glad I work for a PAC that wants to make a difference. If you want to make a difference and get involved politically, message me. I’ll send you to the right people.
Who invented the blow job?
Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick”
im fairly certain someone woke up and said “today i will put my dick in a mouth”
I have shamelessly had those thoughts.
TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE
The asshole holding the sign that says You Deserve Rape is Dean Saxton, he attends the University of Arizona and goes by the name of “Brother Dean Samuel” That’s also him with the racist ass “Ghettopoly”
Per the comment on Buzzfeed
“I can’t wait till he graduates college and a future employer finds all this crap. No one’s going to want to take on this sexual harassment/racist liability. I say we KEEP publishing this stuff, KEEP his name out there, and ensure he dies in a gutter with only his disgusting sign to keep him warm.”
What better place to put it than tumblr?
Maybe we can make this the new “Mitt Romney sucks pass it on”
Viewer calls TV anchor fat.
TV anchor responds.
This lady is my hero.
she looks lovely too!
I want to hug her.
Bless her and the nice people in this world. EVERY PERSON WATCH THIS!
Please please please watch this till the end
bless this women.
HOW DID SHE GET THROUGH THIS WITHOUT CHOKING UP. This woman is my new hero.
If you do nothing else today, at least watch this.
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